that feeling when you are just too tired to argue and you just feel like sleeping

.

I like the feeling of having that someone near me. Near does not mean that both of us have to act like we're in love, lovey dovey and all. Having that significant someone near me is like both of us just hanging around, silly conversations hanging in the air.. Whatever keeps us near. Either it's on chat or in real life, everything. Especially when both of you are sure of your feelings. Even though the words are unsaid but we still understand everything. We don't need to hold hands. Just your presence alone keeps me calm.

April

Today is March 31, 2013 as I am writing this post. Yes. That makes tomorrow another month, April. What's so special about April? I am not sure if everyone has their own special memory/ies of April. What I definitely know is, that I have my very own special moments. 

I love April. 

My life started in April. I was born April 26. You don't need to know what year I was born in, because most of you would've probably known or guess about it anyway. Maybe what makes me think that April is such a special month because it has my birthday in it. It is usually full of joy, celebrating birthdays, although I'm not really sure of this year's April. Let me give you a hint -- I will be legal this year. Becoming mature. Responsibilities. Having ID cards. Permission to drive cars legally. Another step towards becoming an adult. Attending university.

I really do think that I am, indeed, an old soul inside my young age. I stress more than girls my age do. I do. I neglect stuffs I have to do. I need to go. I procrastinate. I am selfish. I look like I don't care, when actually I do. But that's cliche. I am, in some conditions, a hypocrite. I am no saint. No angel. I am me. 

I wonder a lot. I wonder if I'll have the courage to pursue my dream(s). I have a lot of them. I dream, but I don't really think I plan to live them. I'll back down first without trying. I've got to stop this, I know. But the thought of competing with my other much smarter friends makes me feel so small. But, my friends amaze me all the time. It's how they cope with school, with their friends and family. They amaze me at how mature they are, while I'm just plain old me. 

April. 

8 months left to another year. New year. 2014. What will happen in the following year? I know it's not even April yet, but of course I can't help but wonder what changes am I going to make in the rest of the year. I sure hope they are positive. Hopefully, oh how hopeful I am, I will be able to make big changes in the future. Not only for my own good, but for others too. I don't know yet how I'm going to change people, but I will find out soon, I hope. He will lead me. 

Laters, baby.